I have never been a risk taker. When deciding upon a career, I chose one that I knew I could make a decent living and easily get a job in. I am a planner by nature, down to the detail. I had a job for about five years that required me to plan educational events, sometimes for very large groups. My time was often spent making sure that every detail was taken care of, every possible scenario planned for, every minute of the day perfectly timed. This is the way that God made me, and there definitely is a time and a place to use my God-given talents. People who know this about me are often surprised to find out that my husband typically plans our family vacations. I often have no idea what hotel we are staying in or what airline we are flying because he plans all of that. He is very good at planning trips and I have learned it is best to just let him handle them. I trust that he wants to have a nice vacation as much as I do and he never lets me down.
Micah 6:8 tells us that God wants us to walk humbly with him, but unfortunately, sometimes when God has asked to take me for a walk, I want to plan out the route first. Often, when I feel God calling me to do something, my first inclination is to ask him for details. Why do you want me to do this? What is going to happen if I do? When, exactly, do you want me to do this? And, for goodness sake, do you know how crazy this sounds God? I am pretty sure that there is nothing humble about questioning God's methods or his intentions. If I know this, then why do I repeatedly try to be the planner?
First, I am human and incredibly flawed. It is ironic how something that is a strength when applied appropriately can become a weakness when it's over applied. Being a detail-oriented planner is wonderful when you are planning a party or a conference, but if you are trying to plan out God's will for your life you have definitely overstepped. I believe I do this repeatedly because I am afraid of failure, afraid of harm coming to myself or my family and afraid that if I make the wrong choice something bad will happen. What I am forgetting when I let those fears talk me out of obedience, or even cause me to delay saying yes to God, is that God would never harm me. I am forgetting the promise in Jeremiah 29:11 that says not only will God not harm me, but he will prosper me! I am forgetting that he created me and he knows exactly what he created me to do.
I believe there are consequences for living a “safe” life, never stepping out in faith boldly. The worst that can happen is that the people you were supposed to reach may never know the love of Christ. Thinking that I am making a safer choice by not following what God is asking me to do is far from safe. I am slowly learning to question less and humbly walk more. I am learning that I will never get to where I want to be without boldly stepping out in faith and doing the things that God calls me to.
For years I felt God asking me to lead a women's Bible study at my church. This was one of those times that I questioned God. After all, I had never lead a women's Bible study and felt completely unqualified to do so. I chose what I thought was the safe route, one free from ridicule and embarrassment, and ignored what he was asking me to do for a long time. Eventually, with the help of some amazing friends, I finally did take that step and began a Bible study. Through this Bible study I have met some of the most amazing women and have been a witness to God working in their lives and using these ladies to speak his truth to one another more times than I can count. Women in the group have told me how much our time has meant to them and study after study seem to speak the exact right words at the exact right time when these women are facing some incredibly difficult situations. For all those years that I was worried about how I could possibly lead a Bible study, I never gave one thought to the many women that were out there who desperately needed one as a way to find healing and draw near to God. I was saying no to God because I couldn't imagine how I could be capable of doing such a thing, but I never thought about what God could do through me, if I was only obedient. Now, I am amazed, humbled, and overjoyed at the privilege of being able to be a part of this amazing group of ladies, much less to be the one to lead them.
Taking that step, with God by my side, showed me what obedience can do. Ever since then, I have wanted to do nothing more then walk humbly with him. Not because I am afraid of the consequences of disobedience, but because I truly want to serve the God I love, because he first loved me. Whatever God is calling you to, no matter how big or far-fetched it seems, I hope that you will remember to walk humbly. Remember that the only safe place to be is with him, your loving father, who made you and knows exactly what you are capable of. Be bold, step out in faith, and take that walk with him. You will be so glad you did.