I had a conversation with a friend the other day about the tough choices we make to follow Christ with our whole hearts, our entire being. To listen to what the Lord is burning within us, trusting his heart and his intentions. To being obedient of when he says “yes” and when he says “no”. Sometimes it’s hard. Sometimes we get it wrong. And sometimes we just don't want to.
I've made a few poor decisions where I intentionally excluded God from the equation of decision-making. When he said, “stop” I continued forward. When he said, “go here” I ran the other direction, doing what I wanted. My disobedience slowly formed a large dark hole of loneliness. That loneliness took me places I never wish to visit again. Those places left me with a broken depressed heart.
I knew the truth, but still choose a lie. I didn’t allow God to heal my heart because I hid. I hid due to the shame, guilt, and selfishness surrounding my mind, body, and spirit. This forced me to protect my fragile heart from any action involving trust. I guarded my heart, but for the wrong reasons and from the wrong people. I guarded my heart from God.
I don’t know if you’ve ever been in that place, or currently residing there. But there is hope.
That same friend told me that the greatest thing the enemy can do is keep us too scared to trust again. Because the enemy knows once we do, there is no stopping God’s work in our lives. The greatest freedom comes with total honest admitting unfavored choices and choosing the path of forgiveness and obedience.
To know the truth and still choose the lie is the greatest pain one can inflict on themselves, others, and God.
But God is faithful despite our continuous failures. Even when leading a lifestyle opposite of what God clearly and visibly identified his direction to be, he is there…waiting patiently. It’s the kindness of the Lord that leads us to the truth. When we lose our way, it’s his gentle heart and kindness that brings us back to him.
When we don’t take the time to listen to the nagging uncomfortable feeling of “no” or the excited green light of “yes”, we can miss out on many opportunities. When one door closes, another opens, but often we look so long and hard at the closed door, hoping for it to open, that we do not see the one which God has opened wide for us.
At times we don’t trust our heart and choose wrong. And that’s okay as long as you don’t allow that to affect our relationship with Christ. Reviewing mistakes over and over in our head not only makes us lonely and crazy but it blinds us from the promises God has laid out before us. As hard as it is to agree with God sometimes on where he wants us to go and what he wants us to do, in the long run obedience leads to greater blessings. He called us his Beloved. God longs to be desired, loved and trusted. Forget your mistakes. He loves you anyway. The most important thing we can learn about God—that he yearns for relationship with us no matter where we’ve been or where we’ve come from. He yearns for us. He cares. He has a tender heart.
“You will find me,” says the Lord, “when you seek me with all your heart.” - Jeremiah 29:13
Listen to your heart. Listen to what God has to say. He wants to love you and be loved back.