I had a God moment yesterday.
It was during a tennis match at Courtyard against Becky and Rosa. I train with Becky and Rosa, so I know them; they are not any old opponents. I was playing with Renee. We won the first set 6:1, lost the second set 2:6. In the third set, I served first and won, Becky served second, quick set, 0/40, we won. Renee lost her serve, and we won Rosa serve. That makes it 3:1 us.
I went to the net to grab the tennis balls from Rosa to take my serve, my second time, and there was a disagreement about the score. Becky thinks it’s 2 all. Now all four of us are standing at the net and disagreeing. I start describing everyone’s service game and who won, but Rosa and Becky were not having it. They are both known for not having great memories. The four of us could not agree. Finally, we agreed to start the third set over. I was not happy, fuming actually!
I lost my serve. I was so angry. I was struggling to keep it together. Becky served and changed her serve from the last time. In my very angry head I was thinking she changed her serve to my backhand, because my forehand beat her the first time around. She seemed to remember that! I could not get out of my head how wrong this was. I wanted to throw my racket and walk off. Childish, I know.
Now the score was reversed, we were down 1:3. Taking deep breaths to calm myself was not working. I started praying. I asked Jesus for help, pleading to give me peace of mind. I told him I couldn’t calm down, I couldn’t play this way, I needed help, I needed Him.
The momentum of our play started to shift, we started winning games, and we started catching up. We made it to 5:5, and then we won the next game, making it 6:5. Again, I spoke to Jesus pleading with Him not to make me eat humble pie by losing. I wanted to win. Don’t we all! I thought, please let us pull this out. The game went to duce, once, then twice. I got the last angle shot to win the game and set 7:5. Amen.
I gave thanks and glory to Jesus! It wasn’t me that won it on the court that day. I was the angry childish woman that wanted to throw her racket and walk off the court. I was the woman who couldn’t mentally get it together and in return couldn’t hit a ball to save her life. It was Jesus! He met me in my weakness that day. He showed me that at my worst, he loves me, and helps me back to my best.
I think a light bulb went off that day.
I’ve been trying to figure out how to get to know Jesus.
He has been there all along, patiently waiting for me to ask for help, listening and watching my every move, every day. I have been trying to do all the right things only finding myself falling short time and time again. And again. And again. But the tennis court brought me some clarity. I finally realized that it’s not what I do that will get me closer to Jesus, it’s just asking for help when I need it and being grateful for it. Simple as that. He isn’t going to push me away because I allowed tennis to get the best of my emotions. He gently wraps His loving arms around me and gracefully speaks into my ear, “My daughter, I love you and I’m so glad we talked today.”