Let it Go and Have a New Marriage

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A healthy marriage with a fresh start in 2012! A prayer and hope for many couples.  They start out with new things to begin to strengthen their marriage such as date night, lunch together, prayer time, etc, but often times it is not starting new things that gives us a healthy marriage, but leaving old things.

 I am faithful to pray for God’s plan for me and my marriage, but to be honest; it can quickly be interrupted with thoughts of “what about” or “remember when”.  My prayer and hope is then replaced with thoughts of the past and there I am….stuck.  I believe that God wants to do mighty things with marriages, but sometimes being stuck in the past can keep us from moving forward. There is no escaping certain events or actions that cause hurt and pain in a marriage.  No one is perfect and those issues must be addressed and forgiven, but we can’t stay there.

 In the words of Emerson Eggerich in his amazing book Love and Respect, women tend to go “historical” and bring up the past.  Unfortunately, we, as women, have been “blessed” to have a good memory.  There are times I will recall certain things to my husband and astonished that he has no memory of the event or conversation.  A good memory is not always a good asset. I believe that Satan wants nothing more than for us to stay in our past. Dwelling on the past distracts us from fulfilling the future plans God has for our life and marriage. If we are not careful, we become stuck there. Once issues have been addressed, don’t look back, you are not going that way.  To move one, we need to forgive in two areas:

• Our Past Failures

Once we have taken responsibility and reconciled, it is time to learn from the mistake and focus on the future. Continuing to focus on past failures is not allowing God to give the grace and mercy that He freely gives.  We can not bring honor to Him when we continue to think about our self? No, we do not completely forget; but when we forgive ourselves and take the opportunity to learn and grow, we can experience more of what God has to offer us.

Philippians 3:13-14 says:    

The one thing I do, however, is to forget what is behind me and do my best to reach what is ahead.

• Failures of our spouse

There comes a time when we must remember the love and grace our Father in heaven gave to us.  He expects nothing less than to extend that to others as a gift unto Him.  Forgiving is not erasing past hurts. It is making the decision to let go of the sting so that it is no longer part of our life.

Matthew 6:14-15 says:   

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

If God is gracious to forgive us, how can we not humble ourselves to extend grace to others…….even our spouse. 

So this year instead of thinking of what you need to start new with many hopes and dreams, I challenge to you pray and ask God what you need to let go so that He may bless you with a new marriage.

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About Crystal

As a Fitness Designer, I work individually with busy women by telephone and email coaching to design and exercise and eating plan to fit their personal schedule and lifestyle. With over 20 years in the fitness industry, I have worked in commercial fitness as a personal trainer, group fitness instructor, an educator in corporate wellness, and in an executive leadership position in a hospital wellness center. I have been happily married for over 15 years with two beautiful children and have had had the privilege to serve in marriage ministry with my husband for over 9 years. As a busy woman, who desires a higher level of health physically, mentally and spiritually, my life purpose is to work with women to create a fitness and food design . I want to empower women to take control of their health and fitness so they are confident in the choices they make with food and have a fitness plan that gets results. To learn more about having a personal Fitness Designer and receive a free telephone consultation for your individual plan, go to my website at Your Fitness Designer.

1. 

   Martha says:

   January 27, 2012 at 6:23 pm

   Good points in marriage and all relationships.

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2. 

   Amy Alves says:

   February 17, 2012 at 1:54 pm

   In this new year I have already experienced a new depth in my marriage. My husband was very courageous and confessed sin to me. At first it hurt, but God gently whispered into my ear, “I have forgiven you Amy, I want you to give that same forgiveness back out”. Only by the grace of God are my husband and I flourishing today! We take one day at a time and are experiencing a renewal and a freshness in our relationship! I believe that the marriage relationship is one of the most powerful relationships on earth…when done with God! Great post! Through God all things are possible! -Blessings, Amy from amyswomantics.blogspot.com

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