Single

The Journey: Life of a single girl

The Journey of singleness is a gift, an adventure, turbulent and chaotic at times, heartbreaking and rewarding all wrapped in one big bow.   Exploring who you are as an individual is really only possible to its fullest while single.  How amazing that is!  Of course, there were times when I felt like I was on the single journey way too long.  But as I look back on my journey, there isn’t one thing I would change….the good, the bad and the ugly!

Every season of our lives has a reason, a story to tell, a lesson to be learned, an adventure to be had, a heart to mend and learn from.  It’s life, and life is a continuous voyage into the next season.  Today, single women are finally getting noticed for more than just being single.  We’ve figured out that, although we are not married, we are strong and intelligent, make mistakes just like everyone else, date the wrong guys, own our very own companies, serve, are wonderful friends; we are on the journey just like the rest of the world.

Life goes by too fast and is too short to live in the future always thinking, “When this happens, life will be amazing.”  The journey of life is every season and creates us into the woman we were created to be.  Embrace it, love it, live it!  I embrace my past, the lessons I learned, the friends I made and the escapades I experienced.  There all “things” that made me who I am today…. they’re all a part of my journey.  The Journey of singleness helped me identify who I was as a woman and who my husband fell in love with.  It’s the journey that taught be how to be strong, confident, soft, loving, alive and worth the wait.

Today, as I reflect on the years past, I’m thankful for all that God has given, brought and loved me through.  It’s all set me on the journey to becoming the woman I was created to be and embracing who I am today.   Single ladies, you are worth the wait!  So embrace your journey, love it, live it!

Now, While You Are Single.

[title subtitle="Now, while you are single: Walking out your purpose before you say 'I do'"][/title]

Now, While You Are Single is a practical guide to help women discover and embrace their true identity in Christ through a journey of healing, ultimately revealing God’s purpose and plan for their life while they are single. 

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Purchase for you or as a gift here

[title subtitle="Design Labs"][/title]

Single ladies! We will be hosting Design Labs in the Austin area this summer featuring Heather’s book. Follow us on Facebook for dates & times.

What's Your Worth? God's Top Priority

My favorite new place in the world is snuggling with my 3-month old as she takes a nap.  Every time we snuggle, I kiss her on her forehead and cheek whispering the words “I love you” over and over even though she has no idea what that means.  She is such a gift!  She has no idea how much she means to us, how much we wanted her, or how much we thank God for her every day promising to take care of this precious gift He has given us.  She has no clue of her worth yet.

As a single girl, I didn’t always know my worth either.  I had no idea how much God loved me, how much He had for me, or how much He actually thought of me throughout the day.  After all, I was single and my purpose would begin after I got married, right?  Because I believed that for a bit, I found myself feeling anxious believing I would be the last one married, the last one to have kids, the last one to reach my career goals, the last one to……the list goes on.  It wasn’t until I finally rested in God and allowed Him to snuggle with me, kiss me on my forehead and cheek while whispering how much He loved me, did I realize how much I was worth.  I was worth a whole lot come to find out!   Because my daughter knows we have food just for her, she instinctively opens her mouth when it's time to eat never doubting that we’ll have enough.  Just like her, all I needed to do was be open for all the good things God had just for me.

Once I knew my worth, I no longer settled for less.  I didn’t settle for a date with just anyone, drama filled relationships, unhealthy friendships and so much more.  I didn’t settle for who I was either.  I was worth the effort to be molded.  As I embraced my value, I was constantly amazed how much He entrusted me with.  He had plans for me; things I had better be doing even while I was single.

As my daughter grows up, I can only  pray I show her daily just how much she is worth.   I pray that while she is single, she understands God has a plan & purpose designed especially for her by His own hands.  This is exactly how God feels about you!  He wants you to know how much you are worth to Him; how valuable you really are!  All you have to do is open your mouth just like my little girl and receive what God has for you, now, while you are single.

Embrace and enjoy Snuggling with your Heavenly Father as He gives you little kisses on your forehead and cheek while whispering, “I love you” over and over again!

Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

{Originally published 2011}

[title subtitle="Book: Now, While You Are Single: Walking Out Your Purpose Before You Say "I Do""][/title]

Now, While You Are Single is a practical guide to help women discover and embrace their true identity in Christ through a journey of healing, ultimately revealing God’s purpose and plan for their life while they are single. 

Purchase for you or as a gift here!

books_created

[title subtitle="Design Labs"][/title]

Single ladies! We will be hosting Design Labs in the Austin area this summer featuring Heather's book. Follow us on Facebook for dates & times.

Living Single: What Every Single Girl Hears

I am wholeheartedly a Friends fan and I watch reruns anytime I can!  I love the show, have been an enthusiast since the very beginning and cried like a baby on the series finale!  I felt like I was losing my friends!  Of course, everyone has their favorite character on the show and mine is Rachel Green.  I love everything about her; her look, her style, just everything! But it was Monica who that had so many endearing qualities that were only magnified by her OCD tendencies.  It’s what made her a great friend.  She found joy in cleaning not only her apartment, but others as well!  Something that I’ll never be able to identify with.  In one particular episode we were able to get a glimpse into what sparked that quirkiness by seeing some of her inner struggles she faced with her parents.  I forget exactly the circumstances, but apparently Monica made some kind of mistake that provoked her parents to ask, “Did you pull a Monica?” which really meant, “Did you mess up or do something really stupid?” That really irritated Monica, as it would anyone who had been forced to endure the same question since childhood.  It definitely didn’t offer any encouragement to say the least!

But as in all thirty-minute sitcoms, all was resolved quickly when Phoebe was able to change Monica’s perspective by showing her how “pulling a Monica” could be positive phrase instead of negative one.  Phoebe told her one day when people won a Nobel Peace Prize people would say they “pulled a Monica” because what they did was so good. Phoebe was able to take a phrase that was meant to be negative and turn it into one that became encouraging and sought after!

Living Single

I think that’s how a lot of single women feel when they hear the phrase “living single.” It has become a negative phrase in certain circles that no one wants to any association with. Well, I beg to differ and dare to show you how living single is a lifestyle that every single woman should feel proud of and embrace. Being single offers us the opportunity to unselfishly be selfish by focusing on our dreams and goals without interruption.  “Living single” means that we are brave, confident women who dare to take life by its reigns courageously embracing all that it has to offer.  Single life is a life that should be lived in the limelight, shining brightly as our successes and failures lead those around us to become the women we were created to be.  As single women, we are the envy of other women when we’re able to take a little longer shopping at the mall, have a girl’s night out without permission, or simply sit in our jammies all day sipping coffee and reading a book while the dishes sit in the sink.  “Living single” has the perks that “Living double” does not.

So now when we hear that someone is “living single,” we’ll all know that person has the opportunity to pursue their dreams with passion and gusto without interruption.  The world will know without a doubt that you, as a single woman, have a life that is yours completely and is only concerned about the affairs of her Father.  What an amazing privilege that is to have!  So single ladies, “pull a Monica” and embrace the phrase "living single" as one that has worth, destiny, envy and privilege. “Live single” with your head held high!

I Corinthians 7:32
I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master.

[title subtitle="Get Your Copy of Heather's Book"]Now, While You Are Single[/title]

Now, While You Are Single
Walking Out Your Purpose Before You Say “I Do”
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Now, While You Are Single is a practical guide to help women discover and embrace their true identity in Christ through a journey of healing, ultimately revealing God's purpose and plan for their life while they are single.

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What's Your Reputation? Dance to a different beat in 2012 & find a new one!

As a little girl, I would sit and listen to records as I played with my Barbie dolls and toys in my playroom.  I would dance and sing along until I played the record so much it would begin to skip repeating the same word over and over again, again, again, again, again, again…annoying!  Finally, the record played its last note and never found its way to the turntable again.  Over the Christmas Holidays, I watched a movie called '12 Dates of Christmas’ and just like a broken record, the characters kept repeating the same date over and over again, again, again, again, again….12 times until they finally got the date right.  Not only did they get to repeat the date until they got it right, all the mistakes that were made before were forgotten. If only we could be so lucky!  Each time, Kate’s character learned something new and in one conversation with her wise next door neighbor the neighbor said somethingI found profound, “Reputation is history in rumor form.”   What a great perspective!  A rumor is fleeting if not proven true.  Our reputation, choices we are not proud of, can be forgotten like a bad rumor if we prove them untrue by simply making new choices. What do you want to disprove about yourself in 2012?  New Years always mark a season of new beginnings and just like a rumor, 2011 is in the past and great new beginnings are on the horizon if we choose to take them.  Dating guys who don’t value who you really are, continuing the relationship that should have ended in 2010 or 2009 but got too comfortable, having too many red tape around us where others couldn’t even get close enough to ask us for a date, making choices with men you aren’t proud of or marrying someone in our head on the first date only to find our heart broken again, again, again, again, again……

Let 2011’s reputation be history in rumor form and start fresh in 2012 learning from all those mistakes you kept repeating and put on a brand new record.  One that you can dance and sing to; makes you smile and puts a fresh beat under your feet.  Single ladies, 2012 is your year to get up and dance to a new song if you are tired of the old!  In this year, throw out those old records and dance to a new beat creating a reputation for yourself that even you never get tired of hearing about.  Do it now in 2012, now, while you are single!

 

 

For more encouragement, order Heather’s book ‘Now, While You Are Single’ by emailing created@createdwoman.net

Fashionably Single

Singleness comes with so much welcomed freedom!  Freedom to go where you want; freedom to hang out with who you choose; freedom to sleep in; freedom to date; freedom to shop!  That was one of my favorites!  I could shop and not have to answer to anyone!  Being single, fashionable and carefree is a great life and to be enjoyed to the fullest.  Just flick on the TV and take a look at all fashionable single ladies wearing all the best labels so fabulously and you’ll see that life is good for a single lady.  I mean, don’t they seem to have it all?  The clothes, the men, the careers, the best friends and somehow they seem to balance life so well!  You have girls like Carrie on Sex and the City to our current go to fashion girls on Gossip Girl or Real Housewives. I can get wrapped up in the characters I must admit as a way of ‘relaxing’ at the end of the day just to clear my brain of the ever-pressing to-do lists.  It’s so easy to think if we act, dress or become like “so and so” then I’ll have those men, their career and that status.  The truth is, everything we do does in fact dictate what we get, but the outcome is not at all like what we see on TV.  If you really did walk out the door in a see-through shirt with coordinating bra underneath or cute runway dress that really fits like a shirt, the good – looking business man with the good intentions isn’t the one that’s going to ask you for a cup of coffee!

If you don’t already know it, you have a lot of power over the men around you through the way you dress.  What are you using it for?  Are you using it to try and get something or are you making sure your protecting someone’s future husband and your own dignity at the same time?  The clothes you wear, even fashionable ones, may not be the best choice in proving you’re a lady and hopefully, your goal is to be a lady and one who is pursued vs. just a one night conquer!

Men by nature have engrained in them the need to hunt; to conquer.  That’s why they talk about the winning team they bet on, the game they played and conquered, the hunt of a fish or deer they waiting on for hours on end until finally after a long day, they conquered.   Men are conquerors and in this day and age, our need to be equal in every single area including conquering the dating game has taking the hunt out for men as we pursue them ourselves.  Most importantly, the challenge has seemed to be non-existent when we let ourselves be on complete display by the way of our clothing!  We can take away the mystery of ourselves by putting too much of ourselves on display.

Clothes tell a story, they say who we are and what we think about ourselves.  We become walking art for all to view.  What story do you want to tell about yourself?  I encourage you this fall as you go out shopping for the latest trends and coolest fashions, think about what story you want to tell about yourself!  Choose clothes that display who you were created to be both inside and out!  Simply said, be fashionably single.

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"What's Hot about being Single anyway?

The conversation went something like this;  Me: “So you just graduated from college, congratulations!  What are going to do now?” Girl: “I’m going to Europe to work at a resort for a year.”  Me: “Wow, that’s great!  I wish I had done something like that when I was still single and could.  No worries at all, just get up and go!”  Girl: “Yeah, it’s going to be great!” Oh to be single, carefree and no ties!  That’s the life!  Single ladies, don’t humdrum around about being single thinking, “Where’s my man?”  This is one of the best times of your life if you just embrace it.  The young lady I talked to about going to Europe got it; she received her education to plan for her future but before she settled into the routine of life, she is embracing the freedom she has taking the adventure of a lifetime.

Whether it’s Europe, a trip to the beach, taking risk you’ve been afraid of taking or moving to another city for a job; the possibilities are almost endless when you are hot and single!  And just so you know, age does not appply nor does the fact you may have recently found yourself single again.  If you are single, you are hot and single!  Here are a few more hot ideas to try out while you are single.

 

  • Interview for a job in the city of your dreams.  It could be your dream job or just a job that pays so you can live in a city that you always wanted to visit.
  • Grab some girlfriends and take weekend getaway to a spa or anywhere else you want to go.  Don’t wait for the phone to ring to get invited; you do the inviting!  Road trips with friends are great memories.
  • Take a week off from work for a “stay-cation,” a week at home doing all the fun stuff in your city.  Hiking, biking, visiting the hot spot restaurants, dance clubs, whatever you think is cool.   Take a look back at Stacy’s blog, “Havin’ Fun in the Summer Time” to get your wheels turning even more.
  • Girl-friend time - Chick-flicks, poolside with snacks and drinks, mani-pedi, shopping….the list is endless.
  • Something I wish I did more often, go visit a friend who has moved away and spend a weekend with them laughing about old times and making some new great memories.  No need to wait on someone else to take a trip, plan your own!
  • Speed dating…I said it!  If I were single, I would hit the speed dating where you get a 5-minute date with several different guys and your done.  No computer trying to figure out the best match taking all kind of personal information, just 5 minutes of FACE-TO-FACE time….something that’s missed in our electronic world.  It’s fun, fast and safe because your not giving out any personal information, just talking in a safe environment where you actually SEE whom you are talking to.  What a novel idea! Plus, no cheesy pick-up lines!

It’s a risk to enjoy life while you are still single, are you up for it?  I think you are and I believe in you.  Be wise in the process though; don’t blow through your savings or milk off your parents or friends.  Be smart in the process because you never know who your going to meet along the way and you don’t want to be a financial burden to your future husband.  But be brave and go out and enjoy life now, while you are single!

 

That’s What’s HOT about being single!

Share some of your ideas about what's hot about being single.

Single Motherhood - Seasons of Blossom

  Single motherhood is like the four seasons that come and go every year…spring, summer, fall, winter. Sometimes it can be sunshine all day long and other times it can be just miserably hot, or cold. Regardless of what each season brings, know that God is simply just watering your seed so that you can blossom into the person he created you to be.

 Seasons produce Perseverance

When you have perseverance, there is nothing that can stand in your way.  Perseverance is a crucial part in your growth track with Christ. It is what makes you stand strong in what you believe in. When God sees that you are able to overcome challenges, he delights and rewards you for being strong and faithful. I know you are more than able to do this!

 James 1:12Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, because when he has stood the test, he will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 

 Seasons produce Purpose

Seasons will come and go, but the purpose that God has given you remains the same. Each season will help give you a clearer picture of what that is.Just remember, God always works everything out for his good and his only desire is to see you and your children prosper in all that you do. 

 Jeremiah 29:11For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

 Seasons produce Relationships

God is very clear on what friendships mean to him. It is a necessity to have encouraging friends around you when facing challenges. It’s not always easy to get out of your comfort zone to meet new people, but it certainly makes a world of difference when you can connect and relate to other single mothers that know exactly what you are going through. Try it this Mother’s Day! Shoreline is having a Single Mother’s Luncheon on May 8th just for you and I know you will meet some awesome ladies there. 

Ecclesiastes 4:10For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

My challenge for you ladies is that you would put all your trust in the one who created you, because there is no greater love then his! May you enjoy YOUR season this Mother’s Day and may God bless you and your children above and beyond any of your expectations!

Seeing Beyond The Clothes

Remember all of those cliques back in High School?  Preppy, Cheerleader, snobby, popular, skater, and yes even the loose girls.  We could tell exactly what ‘group’ someone fit into simply by the clothes they wore.  Now, looking back, I wonder if those cliques really reflected who we were.  The best illustration I’ve ever seen how cliques might not be all their cracked up to be is in the Movie ‘The Breakfast Club.’  By the end of their day in detention, the self-proclaimed “Breakfast Club” realized a big reason they dressed or acted they way they did was to please someone else.  By just talking to people outside of their clique, the revelation was made that they all had the same struggles, questions and some likes.  It didn’t matter what clique they were in.  In that one day the “Breakfast Club” came into their own and were never the same. Though we may never have a transforming day like theirs, hopefully somewhere along the way we find we don’t have to fit into a clique at all.   We just have to be ourselves.  Today, I don’t feel a need to fit into a certain category.  People will either choose to like me or not.  Others may put me into a category that don’t fit me but you know what?  I don't care because I know who I am and my worth is much deeper than the clothes I wear.  My clothes reveal who I am on the inside and I like that girl!

The best thing I ever did while I was single was rip off all of those labels and figured out who I was on the inside – what were my likes, what styles or things was I drawn to.  By just adjusting my mind-set in that one area, it helped me understand what guys were, well, a little bit more worthy of me.  It also helped me be-friend girls that looked beyond what I was wearing.  I found my own Breakfast Club!

Clothes do say a lot, so make sure you are sending the right message.  Your clothes are an outward reflection of who you are on the inside, not a certain group.  So this spring as you hit the mall for the new Spring Fashions, take a look in the mirror first and ask if you still chasing ‘that group’ you think you want to be a part of.  I hope not because trust me, life get’s better in every area when you are true to yourself.  So don’t wait, see beyond the clothes now, while you are single.

Single mothers sticking together

Any girl, regardless of age,  would say friends are essential for the ups and downs of life, but I would say friends that can relate to you or vice versa during the ups and downs of life is gold.
 
Before I became a single mother, I had the liberty to go and come as I pleased with any one of my friends, but as my life changed into the new role of being a single mother, it wasn't that simple anymore. Most all my friends at the time  were single with no children and although they all cared dearly for my daughter and I and would do anything for us, my life style had completely changed and I no longer could keep up with them. A simple night out with the girls became more and more difficult as my duties of a mother grew and grew. Even my two sisters that I am very close with couldn't relate to all the stuff I was going through, because they both were married with families. They would never know what it means to be a single mother.
 
It was then that I decided to venture out and meet other young single mothers that I could be-friend, and I did. I can honestly say that aside from the satisfaction I had in life again that I could only get from Christ, having friends that were also single mothers helped me stay humble and grounded. Just knowing that someone else out there truly and genuinely could understand all of the emotions I felt, was priceless.  I no longer found myself trying to keep up the the lifestyle I once had and instead I learned to embraced my new life with the help of seeing other women go through the same exact thing.  
 
Now, I am not saying to dump all your friends that are not single mothers, just remember to love the life you have now been blessed with, and God will truly honor you for it.
 
Life was never meant for us to go through it alone. If that was the case, then we would never be able to move on.
 
Keepin' it real!
 
Helen