Find Your Tribe & Make Them Yours
“Again, truly I tell you if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.” - Matthew 18:19-20 (NIV)
While I am usually keeping things light and fun with design trends and fashion inspirations, I decided to challenge myself for this blog post and dig a little deeper into a topic I feel passionate about – finding your tribe. That group of like-minded people you can truly be yourself with.
As I have gotten a little older and hopefully a little wiser, I have come to know that I need people in my life that I can count on for various reasons. Not for favors or material things but for the heart and soul. I need people I can really talk with, laugh with, and share life’s little moments with. This need has always been there in my heart and mind but I guess I never sought to find the group that I fit in well with. It could have been a number of factors. Being focused on school and work, maybe. Being young and frivolous. When you are young, girls can be catty and spiteful. When you are trying to establish yourself in your career, colleagues can be competitive. When you become a mother, other mothers can be judgmental and critical. Where is the love, the support, and the camaraderie? The “I know how you feel”, the “I’ve been there”, the “we’re in it together.” Doesn’t everyone want that?
I grew up really close with my extended family. I am one of 5 granddaughters and my cousins and I were really close growing up even with a wide age gap. I’m the youngest of them in an age range of 35-52. Our grandmother taught us that family was everything and our mothers made sure we knew this too. We were taught to love and support no matter what. We can really be our most authentic selves with each other, our family. We laugh, we cry, and we cry laughing.
In this season of my life I feel fortunate to have found a few groups that have added so much value to my life, and the best part is that these relationships happened naturally. It was meant to be. Those friends who become like family. We may have gotten together through a mutual love of jewelry or our faith in God or our struggles with fertility or maybe it was the constant laughter at work, but the fact is we got together and we stuck by each other. We realized there was a mutual love for each other and a mutual gift of support without judgement. Isn’t that the goal of every friendship? To be the most authentic you possible?
My point is that there is a tribe waiting for you. Find it and make them your people. Make it a safe place to come to when you need support and love and a good laugh. Don’t waste your time and efforts on those that don’t know your value. Move on with a grateful heart. The verse above from Matthew 18:20 is one of my favorites. It tells me that God knows we need others, He will give us the people we need and the people who need us. We must find each other. We have to eliminate judgement and criticisms in our friendships and instead be kind and uplifting.
I would be remiss to not acknowledge how much of this realization came from being involved with Created Woman. Being in the presence of these incredible women and hearing them speak to each other and to large crowds was therapy for me. In difficult times and in joyous times, I have sought refuge with their message. Whether some of the women know it or not, their words had a very big impact on me. I found my people here. My hope is that women who read this blog and all of the CW blog posts, know that this is a safe and joyful place where you will be supported and empowered. I hope you will join me in our events so we can meet and mingle. This is your tribe.
Author Kristen Ellis & her tribe