You Oughtta Know By Now
If there is a grand passion for my life, I’d like someone to notify me, please.
I was recently personally attacked by the content of a poem. It is gallingly titled “Patient Trust”, and begins with the words, “Above all, trust in the slow work of God.” I am not a slow-moving person. Impediments to my progress are not appreciated; ask anyone who has ever been in my way. I can even procrastinate with haste. I feel the need to always be moving; always doing. Maybe this is why I have had several visions for my life. If something is not working out on my timetable, or runs into a wall, I change direction so that I can always be moving forward.
The idea that there is one grand dream, one driving purpose to my life that I could fail to accomplish or even miss completely, has me questioning if I have been wasting my time by trying to accomplish what seemed right in the moment, only to have that change with the seasons of my life.
The dreams I dreamed in my youth seem out of reach. For all the things I had to do to pay the bills, keep the kids in church and out of prison, stay happily married, and sane in the midst of it, my dreams became smaller, falling victim to scheduling conflicts and second-guessing. Now that the fast-paced seasons of my life have given way to the slow march of time that is empty-nesting, I have peered back into the basket of dreams I put on the shelf and asked God if there’s anything still in there that’s even remotely viable. Is there one great one, some grand passion that I was destined for, that perhaps it is not too late to achieve?
There are things about me that have never changed, despite seasons of motherhood, career, grief, and other pressures of life. Who I was created to be, with the talents I was born with, have always been at my core, consciously (and subconsciously) driving my choices. The dreams I had as a youth to write, design, and create have never parted from me, and the pursuit of those things has come up again and again when I have had free time and resources to make decisions for myself. I find deep satisfaction in using these talents to delight and encourage those around me, and I am connected to several communities of believers through them.
Deep meaning for your life does not necessarily come attached to grand passion. The satisfaction of a life well-lived comes from serving the Lord in every season, while maintaining the hope that you will be blessed enough to have seasons of dream-chasing among the seasons of sowing and reaping that mark all our lives. There will be fruit from all the endeavors that you devote to the Lord, no matter the circumstance.
The poem I referred to earlier, by Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, finishes like this:
Only God could say what this new spirit
gradually forming within you will be.
Give Our Lord the benefit of believing
that his hand is leading you,
and accept the anxiety of feeling yourself
in suspense and incomplete.
In suspense and incomplete. We will be in this state until we meet Him in person. I can accept that, because His goodness sustains me and His hope is always with me. He is complete, and I am in Him. This way, whether I am dream-chasing, bill-paying, or diaper-changing, I can cling to these words from Paul:
So now, beloved ones, stand firm and secure. Live your lives with an unshakable confidence. We know that we prosper and excel in every season by serving the Lord, because we are assured that our union with the Lord makes our labor productive with fruit that endures. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
Fruit grows slowly. It results from planting, tending, pruning, and waiting. Fruit can also come up even if you forgot you planted it, or thought it’s seed insignificant. Give the Lord the benefit of believing His hand is leading you. Then, stand firm and live your life with unshakable confidence, though you may feel you are in suspense, and incomplete.
A life filled with enduring fruit is a dream come true, if ever I heard one.
Reflection
What are the talents, abilities, and gifts the Lord has given you? If you can’t think of any, ask Him for guidance and see where He leads you.
Describe the season of life you are in now. How does it effect the time you are able to spend sharing your gifts?
Do you feel grief, shame, or anxiety about how you are using the gifts God gave you? How can you change that?
Goals
Find three places, opportunities, or times where you can work on developing or sharing your gifts:
So now, beloved ones, stand firm and secure. Live your lives with an unshakable confidence. We know that we prosper and excel in every season by serving the Lord, because we are assured that our union with the Lord makes our labor productive with fruit that endures. (1 Corinthians 15:58)
